THANK YOU for all of the support, donations and sharing my message. WE are saving lives! Week 8 Update: I’m over $9,000 in fund-raising and my long run was 15-miles!
My 10-mile run last week (Week 7) was sponsored by Prednisone (it was only 7 days – and I’m off it now). I ran fast (for me), I ran without pain, I felt great, my head was clear, my outlook was so positive. I hadn’t run and felt like this in over a month. I didn’t realize how really bad I’ve been feeling the past month, and how much my back pain had been getting me down. It took a good day to make me realize how bad I’ve been feeling. I kept telling people all was well. I kept going through the motions. But until I saw a doctor last week and got some medication, I didn’t realize how much this was impacting my life and those around me.
It hit me on that run how ironic it is that I’m telling people to share what’s going on in their lives, yet I’ve been running in pain and getting down on myself for a month and haven’t shared it with that many people. Is it because I didn’t want to burden others? I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, or judge me for not being tough enough to handle either the physical demands or the stress of prepping for “The Boston”? Because I don’t yet know what’s wrong with my back and whether I would be able to pull through this, or that I didn’t want to deal with going on medication and wondering about the side effects? Or is it because I didn’t realize how much this was really impacting me, and I was in denial?
This is hopefully a relatively minor back issue, but it completely changed my outlook and attitude each day. People struggling with mental health issues go through similar patterns and downward spirals all the time. These spirals build and build on each other, making it hard to ever think you can escape it. I was getting down on myself because my dream was in jeopardy, and I couldn’t stick to my plan. I felt like I could be letting myself and other people down. I had physical pains that plagued me throughout each day (and night), but the mental aspects, uncertainty and doubt were increasing all the time, and I wasn’t realizing it.
We don’t know how depression starts. It’s a combination of many things, but it can be triggered and worsened by downward spirals that get bigger and bigger and feed on themselves. The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time, by Alex Korb, PhD, is a great book that I think would benefit everyone. It gives great awareness to the importance of starting upward spirals in our lives, to escape downward spirals “pulling you into a vortex of sadness, fatigue, and apathy”. Small things that spiral upward each day, reinforce good patterns in the brain. Chapters in this book include: exercising your brain (e.g., physical exercise – but call it “having fun being active” instead!); setting goals (what’s even one small, positive step you can take today?); making decisions; giving your brain a rest (sleep!); and developing positive habits (e.g., remember positive events that happen in your life). These are often simple steps, and this book does a great job giving clear examples, while explaining the positive impact in our brains.
Medication helped me get through my small hurdle, but even seven days on medication gave me side effects that impacted my personality. I also started sleeping more and focusing on proper exercise, but what really helped me first get help was talking with a few friends that I knew were listening to me. Be there for those around every day – it can make all the difference.
I also continued my hill training this week. Although the graph doesn’t accurately show it (red line), I ran all the way to the bottom of this hill many times. What I love is that my pace (blue line) doesn’t even hint at me running up and down hills. What hills? Where? Heh heh – I can only hope Boston will feel the same 🙂
Ready to make a donation. Here you go: https://www.crowdrise.com/samaritansboston2016/fundraiser/davethompson
Be there for others. Listen. Don’t judge. Have an amazing week!